My Fathers, My Brothers, and My Uncles

This is a bit late, but here are my reflections from this past Memorial Day. The 5th since the war in Iraq started, the 5th, to see over 4,000 lost.

I come from a family that has served our country in its time of greatest need- grandfathers that fought in the Revolutionary War, the Civil War, World War II. They have risen to the cause when it was needed most.

I reflect on my dad and my brother- both currently serving in the military, and my fears that my brother could be sent to Iraq or Afghanistan- yet his complete willingness to go.

And then I worry about the failed trusteeship of our elected leaders. They use the military at will without regard for the consequences- the post-war effects of combat, stress, and loss- the loss of time and your buddies who stand next to you in battle. The attitude of their expendability- yet the other talk of "we support our troops"- but won't enact a bill to ensure their families aren't on welfare or that they have the proper equipment in the field of battle.

Just as I thought things were going to be dull

....they get interesting again.

So I was lamenting the fact that Blacksburg in the summer can be boring and dull- it actually isn't that bad. The weather is great, so you can walk everywhere- and people are more relaxed- not putting up fronts about why they can't do something or hang out. And for me, it is a wonderful nice, quiet break from academia and the full-on assault of my impending PhD.

Blacksburg in the summer is quite an expected suprise.

Brooding Thoughts Late on Friday Night

There are many things that I'm mulling over tonight (after watching a VERY weird movie- don't see Perfume unless you are into really weird movies). So it's hard to know where to start or where to go from this sentence.

Blacksburg actually is turning out to not be that bad. I am somewhat bored, but really, that is when I have had time to think and am not running around doing work for the CT or trying to find a second summer job. I've been able to talk more at ease with people and catch up with people I had been acquainted with and had always wanted to get to know better. I want to plan all these things, and then I realize I'll be leaving to go home in a few days and when I get back it'll be June- and then only two months before I move to Syracuse. I have a feeling that time is going to fly.

Another thing that I have been contemplating is at what point do you become a passive obeserver of a friend's dispassionate surrender and acceptance of fate- a fate that deep down you know they could tempt and change, but they have no courage to stand on their own two feet- literally and figuratively. (and courage, I mean in the loosely defined sense- not just a "standing up for yourself" but entailing many things to bearing a burden to acknowledging and accepting the task you take upon yourself). There is only so many encouraging words to say, and in the end, you become frustrated and angry- for caring too much and perhaps loving too much as well. On one hand you care and want what is best for your loved ones- but at the same time you realize that at some point there is going to be the moment of truth- loaded with expectations- and there is really nothing else you can do but become an observer.

Perhaps on one hand, I believe deep down inside that this "moment of truth" can become a turning point- the decision to take it upon yourself to make a change. The start for making all the necessary changes and decision to proceed forward and "right the ship" so to speak. But that is a lofty expectation- if that has not been the case in the past. I expect something that is not going to happen- that there is going to be this grand epiphany where everyone involved is going to back away, give space, and allow for the more important decisions and tasks to be accomplished- will be done. But if you have lived your whole life not being clear about what you need to do or about your doubts and fears, or clear in your communications- that is not going to change overnight and that epiphany will not happen. And it may never change. That is the other side of the coin of a "moment of truth"- surrender, acceptance, defeat.

It is frustrating to see this kind of thing happen in front of you and not being able to do anything about it.

On a side note, I want to go to Bonnaroo- but its 200+ dollars :( BUT i would get the concert-goingness out of me. They have an amazing lineup: http://www.bonnaroo.com/artists.aspx.

We shall see- 4 days of concerts would be pretty kick ass.

Nicknames

There are several nicknames friends of mine have made up (for those special people in our lives) that I must share. For those who know what they mean, they are funny. For everyone else- remain clueless.

Trout-mouth, WAD, WMD, Mr. Invertebrate

Identity Crisis

I someday fear that I will be on a crash course for an identity crisis. My customized adds that appear urge me to send money home (to Texas??) and to write in my "native Indic script" (chicken-scratch??).

I find it all rather amusing actually. But a little weird that google, blogspot, and facebook follow my computer usage and search words enough to get that kind of information on me.

An Ajoinder

To add to the previous post, Leo Tolstoy writes, in the beginning of Anna Karenina, and I feel that it is an apt summation of what I was aiming for: "Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way."

Families are Families, no matter where you are

After reading the umpteenth blog written by an Indian, discussing the relationship of Western families as compared to Indian families, I am really perturbed by this assumption that "family and friends comes second" in Western families. Do they know any Westerners? or are they just picking and choosing the characterizations and subsequent case studies that they wish to to back up their case??? Do they recognize that the relationship that children in the West have with their parents is far different than the relationship Indian children have with their parents? I would challenge anyone that thinks Westerners put family and friends second to meet my friends and my family- they will tell you differently. In my mind, my friends are part of my family (I never miss a chance to introduce my friends to my family)!

I am blessed with a family that understands me, and trusts me, and wants what is best for me, and gives me the freedom to explore, mess up, make mistakes and learn. I can't think of a time I have had to compromise anything in my life because I talk things out with my parents and let them know the things I am thinking and the course of action I want to take. My parents are like any other parents- they worry if I will get married, have kids, get a job. But they also realize that this journey is my journey. Whatever decisions I make or course of action I make, the faults will be mine, but the successes will be the result of my work but also that of my friends and family.

I would not argue that I have been raised in an individualistic nature. Individualistic is far different than Independent. One infers a competitive state of nature, devoid of deep relationships with others. The latter, independent, infers the ability to make decisions and carve a specific identity for yourself, but still have deep connections to family, home, friends, and the world. It is that recognition of your self and the multiplicity of your identity and role in relation to others. Social interaction shapes and changes your identity and forms a sense of who you are. To claim that you are far removed from these social interactions fails to comprehend how vital these relations are in forming our sense of self.