Too much energy expensed....

I really sometimes don't want to care so much, push, and expect better things. It can be quite frustrating to think that your level of expectation for what want and what you feel your deserve might be too high??

Either you want to be with me or not- so you better start acting like the former or at least tell me the latter.

Life's Delete Button

....friend....I agree with you. I wish life had a delete button too- especially if that meant we could go back to normal and not have to avoid each other, and have that uncomfortable twinge of the awkward, of the things that we dare not say....for saying would be like ripping off a scab or unplugging a leak in a dam......

Hmmmm

I need to start posting in this thing more----story time! :)

Miscommunication

Some people need to realize that the hateful words they say one day, will come around and bite them hard in the ass.....or ballsack.

There just are some days where I feel like I waste my time on some people....and I don't mean acquaintances or casual friends- I mean people who are supposed to mean the most to me. It is one thing to be busy with work and all that, I understand, but it is a totally different thing to have that get in the way of your life- and essentially make you a non-factor- and sometimes that is how I feel. You have become a non-factor. I just talk to you at the end of the day and even at that- I somehow feel it is forced, not sincere. And that feeling is further reinforced when you talk to others more at ease and for a longer time than you do with me.......

.....what to do about you my non-factor.

Been a while- but one thing that amuses me today- people who will rip apart a sport that they do not like, and then the next day become ardent supporters of that same sport.....

....hmm...

Love and...

Call me a blasphemer or whatever- but I'm really starting to doubt this social institution we call Marriage- why do you have to get married? I mean, to be honest, its just signing a document and saying yep- we are legal recognized as a unit. So why do you have to have a paper to say that? Now, I know that this view is not shared by my partner, but damnit. This is what I think.

On another note- I also get deathly afraid of losing the independence and freedom I have now- it's almost as if people buy into the social construction of marriage and "change" after they get married (ok, I can think of a few cases where this isn't true...but those are far and few between). Previously independent women get married- and fall into the mold of the wife- the stereotypical role, I must add.  And of course, things aren't made easier when all the people around you are getting married............bah- why?