* I'm anxious for school to start- I feel my brain has rotted over the summer.
* I'm scared about starting over- new place, new school, new degree
* I'm excited about this new opportuity.
* I'm worried I might get sick by the beginning of classes (boo!)
* I'm wondering what this random smell is- it smells like something mechanical/burning.
* I'm having a splitting headache- I hope it's not allergies.
* I'm going to be the uncouth person to hoard free food for the next week.
* I have a lot of stuff to do.
* Will I get paid in time to pay my rent?
* When am I getting that refund check......?
*Why is my laundry taking so bloody long...?
*SLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP
Showing posts with label ramblings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ramblings. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Two Years
I am approaching my two year mark here in Blacksburg, and as I do, I also approach the end of my time here. I have to say that there was a part of me that was going to miss it here- but then again, there are parts of me that are realizing that I am really outgrowing this place.
For the first year I was here, I mostly spent it missing home and my friends back in Texas. Yet, I met some of the most amazing people I know. It was a hard first year- between really moving far from the familiar, leaving behind people who really knew and understood me- and starting a relationship that in retrospect, proved to be a cause for so much of my poor reflection on Blacksburg and Virginia Tech.
During my second year here, I really made a bond with the people in my program and came to realize who my real friends here were- those who knew me best- and did not judge me for my inadequacies. I feel that my second year at Tech was a bit of a liberation for me and a slow reassertion of who I was. April 11, 2008 was a bit of a D-Day of sorts and a culmination of that reassertion- and taking back of my own life, after so much emotional and psychological abuse.
This summer has perhaps been the best time I have had here in Blacksburg- the slower pace, the ability to hang out and meet with more friends- has certainly been a nice change of pace. And of course- finding out what it really means to be appreciated and cared for also helps brighten the days all that much more. :)
My time at Virginia Tech has definitely been a learning experience. At this time last year, I don't think I realized this (actually, I distinctly remember crying about the fact I was coming back to Blacksburg.....). Lessons to carry on in life- and into my new beginnings in Syracuse.
For the first year I was here, I mostly spent it missing home and my friends back in Texas. Yet, I met some of the most amazing people I know. It was a hard first year- between really moving far from the familiar, leaving behind people who really knew and understood me- and starting a relationship that in retrospect, proved to be a cause for so much of my poor reflection on Blacksburg and Virginia Tech.
During my second year here, I really made a bond with the people in my program and came to realize who my real friends here were- those who knew me best- and did not judge me for my inadequacies. I feel that my second year at Tech was a bit of a liberation for me and a slow reassertion of who I was. April 11, 2008 was a bit of a D-Day of sorts and a culmination of that reassertion- and taking back of my own life, after so much emotional and psychological abuse.
This summer has perhaps been the best time I have had here in Blacksburg- the slower pace, the ability to hang out and meet with more friends- has certainly been a nice change of pace. And of course- finding out what it really means to be appreciated and cared for also helps brighten the days all that much more. :)
My time at Virginia Tech has definitely been a learning experience. At this time last year, I don't think I realized this (actually, I distinctly remember crying about the fact I was coming back to Blacksburg.....). Lessons to carry on in life- and into my new beginnings in Syracuse.
Monday, September 10, 2007
Within the Sounds of Postmodernism
So I'm walking across campus today....and what do I think of. Postmodernism. Weird. Right? Yeah. Well what got me thinking about it was Simon and Garfunkels' Sound of Silence. For you, oh gentle reader, not familiar with this, here is a good overview of it from Wikipedia.
Hello darkness, my old friend,
Ive come to talk with you again,
Because a vision softly creeping,
Left its seeds while I was sleeping,
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence.
At the crux of postmodernism is the idea that the stresses of modernism have caused us to find ways to cope with everyday life. And we are inundated with choices. Maybe this is why more people are on medications for anxiety and depression. Now, while Postmodernism is said to have arisen as a reaction to World War II, I feel that it is actually a reaction to globalization. We seek individual identity and worth in the face of homogenizing forces beyond our control, yet we seek to connect with those around us, despite skepticism about others. We are in essence, confused. Our only solace, is the recess of our minds, where even then, we don't always find silence...
In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone,
neath the halo of a street lamp,
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of
A neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence.
We are conflicted with ourselves. We have so many choices and opportunities. Yet, they seem to distract from the larger picture of things. Postmodernists, that come from a Marxist perspective, would argue that capitalism has created a consumer culture, in which we think only of ourselves and of inane things, such as the latest shoes on sale.
And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more.
People talking without speaking,
People hearing without listening,
People writing songs that voices never share
And no one dared
Disturb the sound of silence.
Silence allows for reflection, but it also is the lack of communication and dialogue between individuals and society. Not only are we a dying society, in the sense that even "noble" non-profit organizations are now professionalized and lose track of those they are to serve, but even in the sense that we don't even speak to our neighbors, across the world, and even just living on the other side of the wall from us. And those that try to reach out to our neighbors, meet only frustration.....
Fools said i,you do not know
Silence like a cancer grows.
Hear my words that I might teach you,
Take my arms that I might reach you.
But my words like silent raindrops fell,
And echoed
In the wells of silence
The failure to connect- we are becoming the generation of computers and the internet. Human contact is replaced with the tip-tap of keys and the harsh glare (or soft glare if you have the latest technology) of a computer screen. I highly suggest reading Robert Putnam's Bowling Alone- it is very insightful about the dropoff of associational life in the United States and in the West. Our engagement in society has dropped off. Society and communities die from an apathy, born of the conditions of modernism. We create false idols- consumerism, money, wealth, greed, and power. And those that note these aflictions in society are cast off as societal lepers- label them communists, liberals, hippies. Anything, to devalue their observations and maintain the "norms" of society.
And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon God they made.
And the sign flashed out its warning,
In the words that it was forming.
And the signs said, the words of the prophets
Are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls.
And whispered in the sounds of silence.
Hello darkness, my old friend,
Ive come to talk with you again,
Because a vision softly creeping,
Left its seeds while I was sleeping,
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence.
At the crux of postmodernism is the idea that the stresses of modernism have caused us to find ways to cope with everyday life. And we are inundated with choices. Maybe this is why more people are on medications for anxiety and depression. Now, while Postmodernism is said to have arisen as a reaction to World War II, I feel that it is actually a reaction to globalization. We seek individual identity and worth in the face of homogenizing forces beyond our control, yet we seek to connect with those around us, despite skepticism about others. We are in essence, confused. Our only solace, is the recess of our minds, where even then, we don't always find silence...
In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone,
neath the halo of a street lamp,
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of
A neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence.
We are conflicted with ourselves. We have so many choices and opportunities. Yet, they seem to distract from the larger picture of things. Postmodernists, that come from a Marxist perspective, would argue that capitalism has created a consumer culture, in which we think only of ourselves and of inane things, such as the latest shoes on sale.
And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more.
People talking without speaking,
People hearing without listening,
People writing songs that voices never share
And no one dared
Disturb the sound of silence.
Silence allows for reflection, but it also is the lack of communication and dialogue between individuals and society. Not only are we a dying society, in the sense that even "noble" non-profit organizations are now professionalized and lose track of those they are to serve, but even in the sense that we don't even speak to our neighbors, across the world, and even just living on the other side of the wall from us. And those that try to reach out to our neighbors, meet only frustration.....
Fools said i,you do not know
Silence like a cancer grows.
Hear my words that I might teach you,
Take my arms that I might reach you.
But my words like silent raindrops fell,
And echoed
In the wells of silence
The failure to connect- we are becoming the generation of computers and the internet. Human contact is replaced with the tip-tap of keys and the harsh glare (or soft glare if you have the latest technology) of a computer screen. I highly suggest reading Robert Putnam's Bowling Alone- it is very insightful about the dropoff of associational life in the United States and in the West. Our engagement in society has dropped off. Society and communities die from an apathy, born of the conditions of modernism. We create false idols- consumerism, money, wealth, greed, and power. And those that note these aflictions in society are cast off as societal lepers- label them communists, liberals, hippies. Anything, to devalue their observations and maintain the "norms" of society.
And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon God they made.
And the sign flashed out its warning,
In the words that it was forming.
And the signs said, the words of the prophets
Are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls.
And whispered in the sounds of silence.
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