What a way to start a Phd!!

Well, I'm sitting in the Syracuse airport ready to go home. And I"m ready to go home....

BUT with that said, I have had an amazing time in Syracuse, met some amazing friends- who are as close to me as family- and have met someone amazing- and I've learned many lessons- if you have to convince yourself about something- it's not worth it- PhD is a process, and you have to be patient- you will always have roadblocks to what you want to achieve- how badly you want to achieve something is determined by how hard you want to work to reduce those obstacles. 

Well- those are my thoughts for now- heading on the plane in about 20 minutes- more reflection might come- but really- I am at a good place in life and could't feel any more happy and content with things :)

 

The God of Small Things

More and more, I read people's facebook or blog or orkut that say one of their favorite books is The God of Small Things. And some of the people I know who have this book listed as their favorites I know hardly understand the nuances Arundhati Roy includes in this novel or fully grasp what exactly she is writing between the covers. Amazon's review states:

"In her first novel, award-winning Indian screenwriter Arundhati Roy conjures a whoosh of wordplay that rises from the pages like a brilliant jazz improvisation. The God of Small Things is nominally the story of young twins Rahel and Estha and the rest of their family, but the book feels like a million stories spinning out indefinitely; it is the product of a genius child-mind that takes everything in and transforms it in an alchemy of poetry. The God of Small Things is at once exotic and familiar to the Western reader, written in an English that's completely new and invigorated by the Asian Indian influences of culture and language."

What this fails to mention, however, is that Roy, herself, has been a prolific writer, mostly on issues of societal, cultural, and political concern. Some of these concerns are alluded to throughout the course of the novel. Environmental concerns are addressed in the manner in which she describes the pollution in the river, caused by pesticides bought with loans from the World Bank (also, in this addressing the impact of globalization on the environment), but also in the means of how she juxtaposes the life of the family with that of Velutha's- which is arguably more attuned with and at one with, nature.

The obvious "point" that people pull from this novel is the discussion of caste and the separation of people, whom love each other, because of this system. However, it is not so simplistic. It also concerns not only a division on caste, but also class, and societal affiliations. Velutha, an untouchable, laborer, with affiliations to the Communist Party, does not seem to mix with the idea of what the "respectable" Christian, middle class wants. It is not, then, just a caste issue. Overall, Roy is utilizing this family to critique the Christian community in Kerala, not just as a reiteration of what so many other writers have commented on in the past. To simplify her points to only being about caste neglects the complexity of the novel and the complexity of Roy's arguments on the positions she takes in real life.

The Amazon review states that this would be a great read and not hard to understand for English readers (read: Western readers) however, I would also argue that so much of the context and points of the story are lost because of the failure to fully understand and take into consideration the rich social fabric Arundhati Roy composes in this novel.

Perhaps, this can shed a little more light on who Arundhati Roy is and some of the issues she addresses within God of Small Things, in a way that weaves into a stirring story. In her own words, it is about power and power relations and her way of seeing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZ2as-l_LSk&feature=related

Love is....

Every so often, there is a small one frame cartoon that appears in the newspaper that has cherub-like naked characters, entitled "Love is..." and each day, there will be something like "Love is...choosing each other." What are the different types of love?

And of course in Catholic Sunday School, there is always the discussion of the different types of love agape, unconditional, I-would-die-for-you-no-questions-asked love or phileo- brotherly/sisterly/comradeship love...and then there was romantic love- get-married-have-kids-grow-old-together love. Funny how when you get older, these lines become blurred. I still believe that you can love people in different ways, but its not as clear cut as in Sunday school. Love is a complicated, all-consuming entity- it is not just a feeling or a flight of fancy. It is a bird that comes to make a nest in your heart.

The one thing that I did learn though, in Sunday school, and its not something that just is Christian, its universal, is that "Love is patient, love is kind, love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way, it is not irritable or resentful, it does not rejoice in wrongdoing but rejoices in truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends." 1Corinthians 4-8. The love of our friends gets us up out of bed each day, even when every inch of us screams to not get up and start the day. Love is something that we cannot live without...

I think the favorite cartoon of mine I saw was "Love is...leaping into the unknown." And it is. You don't know what you will give, get, or lose in the process of falling in love and loving the other person. If I have learned anything, while you may sometimes get hurt, showing and exhibiting love to others is perhaps one of the most rewarding things in life- yet can also be one of the most vulnerable, exposing, soul-baring moments. I guess one of my fears in life is to one day turn around and realize that overnight, someone who loved me, no longer loves me- only because giving your love to another person is investing so much emotion and your own life into that person, whether they are a friend, sibling, family member, or significant other.

Now here is my attempt at a "Love is..." feel free to add your own in the comments section :)

"Love is...realizing that your life has been made better for knowing another person."

And the Truth Shall....

Telling the truth is a funny phenomenon. People say they want to know the truth; but honestly, deep down inside, I don't think a lot of people do. The truth can hurt; it can shatter false hopes and daydreams in a matter of seconds. These can be false hopes that have sustained a person for minutes, weeks, and sometimes years.

Particularly hurtful can be hearing the truth from those closest to us. In my personal experience, hell yeah, it hurts alot, but I have more respect for my friends or family because they had the courage to tell me the truth, first of all, but that they also showed me the respect to tell me the truth. More often than not, they tell me because they want to make me a better person, and for that, I am thankful and respectful to my friends.

Witholding the truth hurts mor than anything else, especially when it is uncovered. We don't mean to hurt the ones we love, but that is part of the human experience. The Truth hurts, but it is necessary.

it shall set you free- in the words of Martin Luther King, Jr.

Tis Easier to Seek Forgiveness, Than Ask Permission??

It's forgiveness that makes us what we are. Without forgiveness, our species would've annihilated itself in endless retributions. Without forgiveness, there would be no history. Without that hope, there would be no art, for every work of art is in some way an act of forgiveness. Without that dream, there would be no love, for every act of love is in some way a promise to forgive. We live on because we can love, and we love because we can forgive. - 370 of Shantaram

For some odd reason today, I was thinking alot about the topic of forgiveness, possibly because I was finally able to read Shantaram for the first time in forever. Which, by they way, is an amazing book and I recommend for anyone to read. It is a great book with many deep philosophical discussions interlaced with an amazing story.

Forgiveness. It is possibly one of the hardest processes that humans can undertake, whether they are the one granting it or the one seeking it. Too often, we are seeking forgiveness because we have committed a great wrong against the one we love (love in the sense of friends, families, significant others). The process of asking for forgiveness can be arduous; it means facing the person you have wronged, in a humbling position, and owning up to the wrong you have committed and asking for their blessings and understanding.

In turn, the difficultly to grant forgiveness is as great; it includes an empathy with the person asking for the forgiveness and patience. It ultimately comes down to love for that person as well; has the sin the other person has committed so grave that you cannot possibly continue a relationship with that person? The decision to continue association or not lies mostly with the person who has been wronged. In addition, it is important to not confuse healing and forgiveness. Forgiveness means you are willing to help the other person heal and perhaps, seek their help in your healing. Healing means words between the two of you do not evoke the misdeed done; this is an extension of the forgiveness process. More often than not, healing does not begin until forgiveness is found; healing is possibly the second hardest process after forgiveness. This is by no means a process that happens over night; in fact, it is a process that can flounder if it is forced.

Ultimately, forgiveness is an act of love; because you care for the person you wronged, you seek their pardon. And because you love the person who has wronged you, you seek their help to begin the process of healing. It is the decision to forgive that is the greatest test of love you can have for a person.

I conclude with another quote from Shantaram about love, and in a way, relates back to our topic of forgiveness.

They'd lied to me and betrayed, leaving jagged edges where all my trust had been, and I didn't like or respect or admire them any more, but still I loved them. I had no choice. I understood that, perfectly, standing in the white wilderness of snow. You can't kill love. You can't even kill it with hate. You can kill in-love, and loving, and even loveliness. You can kill them all, or numb them into a dense, leaden regret, but you can't kill love itself. Love is the passionate serach for a truth other than your own; and once you feel it, honestly and completely, love is forever.- pg. 740 of Shantaram

The Twelve Greats

I have heard a proverb that states "Fate gives all of us three teachers, three friends, three enemies, and three great loves of our lives, but these tweleve are disguised, and we can never know which on is which until we've loved them, left them, or fought them."

The difficulty, also, becomes when one appears to be one of the others: when does a friend become a teacher or a love become an enemy? Perhaps this is a revelation we come to at the end of our lives; while you are in it, the lines become blurred and confused and those you wish to be that great love fail you, your friends betray you, and your enemies turn out to be your greatest teachers.