Families are Families, no matter where you are

After reading the umpteenth blog written by an Indian, discussing the relationship of Western families as compared to Indian families, I am really perturbed by this assumption that "family and friends comes second" in Western families. Do they know any Westerners? or are they just picking and choosing the characterizations and subsequent case studies that they wish to to back up their case??? Do they recognize that the relationship that children in the West have with their parents is far different than the relationship Indian children have with their parents? I would challenge anyone that thinks Westerners put family and friends second to meet my friends and my family- they will tell you differently. In my mind, my friends are part of my family (I never miss a chance to introduce my friends to my family)!

I am blessed with a family that understands me, and trusts me, and wants what is best for me, and gives me the freedom to explore, mess up, make mistakes and learn. I can't think of a time I have had to compromise anything in my life because I talk things out with my parents and let them know the things I am thinking and the course of action I want to take. My parents are like any other parents- they worry if I will get married, have kids, get a job. But they also realize that this journey is my journey. Whatever decisions I make or course of action I make, the faults will be mine, but the successes will be the result of my work but also that of my friends and family.

I would not argue that I have been raised in an individualistic nature. Individualistic is far different than Independent. One infers a competitive state of nature, devoid of deep relationships with others. The latter, independent, infers the ability to make decisions and carve a specific identity for yourself, but still have deep connections to family, home, friends, and the world. It is that recognition of your self and the multiplicity of your identity and role in relation to others. Social interaction shapes and changes your identity and forms a sense of who you are. To claim that you are far removed from these social interactions fails to comprehend how vital these relations are in forming our sense of self.