Tis Easier to Seek Forgiveness, Than Ask Permission??

It's forgiveness that makes us what we are. Without forgiveness, our species would've annihilated itself in endless retributions. Without forgiveness, there would be no history. Without that hope, there would be no art, for every work of art is in some way an act of forgiveness. Without that dream, there would be no love, for every act of love is in some way a promise to forgive. We live on because we can love, and we love because we can forgive. - 370 of Shantaram

For some odd reason today, I was thinking alot about the topic of forgiveness, possibly because I was finally able to read Shantaram for the first time in forever. Which, by they way, is an amazing book and I recommend for anyone to read. It is a great book with many deep philosophical discussions interlaced with an amazing story.

Forgiveness. It is possibly one of the hardest processes that humans can undertake, whether they are the one granting it or the one seeking it. Too often, we are seeking forgiveness because we have committed a great wrong against the one we love (love in the sense of friends, families, significant others). The process of asking for forgiveness can be arduous; it means facing the person you have wronged, in a humbling position, and owning up to the wrong you have committed and asking for their blessings and understanding.

In turn, the difficultly to grant forgiveness is as great; it includes an empathy with the person asking for the forgiveness and patience. It ultimately comes down to love for that person as well; has the sin the other person has committed so grave that you cannot possibly continue a relationship with that person? The decision to continue association or not lies mostly with the person who has been wronged. In addition, it is important to not confuse healing and forgiveness. Forgiveness means you are willing to help the other person heal and perhaps, seek their help in your healing. Healing means words between the two of you do not evoke the misdeed done; this is an extension of the forgiveness process. More often than not, healing does not begin until forgiveness is found; healing is possibly the second hardest process after forgiveness. This is by no means a process that happens over night; in fact, it is a process that can flounder if it is forced.

Ultimately, forgiveness is an act of love; because you care for the person you wronged, you seek their pardon. And because you love the person who has wronged you, you seek their help to begin the process of healing. It is the decision to forgive that is the greatest test of love you can have for a person.

I conclude with another quote from Shantaram about love, and in a way, relates back to our topic of forgiveness.

They'd lied to me and betrayed, leaving jagged edges where all my trust had been, and I didn't like or respect or admire them any more, but still I loved them. I had no choice. I understood that, perfectly, standing in the white wilderness of snow. You can't kill love. You can't even kill it with hate. You can kill in-love, and loving, and even loveliness. You can kill them all, or numb them into a dense, leaden regret, but you can't kill love itself. Love is the passionate serach for a truth other than your own; and once you feel it, honestly and completely, love is forever.- pg. 740 of Shantaram